A Few of Michael Christmas’s Most Quotable Lines

By: Seamus Fay

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Michael Christmas has paved a way for himself in rap that not many other people have been able to do. He mixes humor and descriptive comparisons in his lyrics with his legitimate skill to make him an extremely unique artist with a lot to offer. He isn’t afraid to share even the embarrassing details about being awkward and going through many odd situations in life, giving him all the more personality to love and relate to. I decided to make a list of some of my favorite lines of his, although it was tough to choose which ones I wanted to include. So, I ended up just including the ones that came to mind first.

“Whats Happenin”

Told me bout a party up the street that I should get in/ Soon as I walked in its 50 niggas and no women/ But that’s the everyday when you the young and awkward nigga/ It’s problem after problem when you live life as Christmas/ Failed class after failed class I should be a stripper

This set of lines highlights one of my favorite things about Christmas: he has no problem talking about the bad side of his personality and the small misfortunes he has on the daily. Instead of constantly rapping about money, fame, and girls like a lot of artists, he takes it the other way and comes up with something much more relatable to people. He isn’t afraid to joke around about himself because at the end of the day, the situations he describes are much more likely to get stuck in someone’s head than just hearing your average verse that speaks on the same topics that so many other rappers are talking about. Michael Christmas’s style and approach to rap are two reasons why I believe he’s one of the most talented artists, and they will continue to resonate with fans all over the place.

“Duck Duck Goose”

If you talkin money I don’t wanna talk/ Could tell a nigga broke by the way I walk/ Hands in my pockets head down, I ain’t getting hawked

With this, we hear Michael Christmas describing parts of his life that most people don’t want to talk about once again. He keeps it real and talks about how he isn’t about to flex on everyone and act cocky when he’s broke. The parody of the Young Dolph song shows this switch in perspective perfectly, flipping the phrase “if you ain’t talkin money, I don’t wanna talk” to joke about Christmas and not flex what he may not have. Once again, it makes more sense to rap about what the truth may be for him because it pokes fun at what rap is known for nowadays and goes against what everyone else is doing.

“Drums Might Wake Ya Mama Up”

I remember K too/ I would take a fake nap/ And sneak in the kid’s bags/ And take niggas snacks/ My fam used to be like this lil nigga bad/ But they can’t understand how this lil nigga rap, hm

These lines give us an interesting preview into the kindergarten version of Michael Christmas, who stole snacks and fake slept during nap time. He makes a connection between being “that kid” to where he is now, and how his parents almost can’t believe that the same person is making it so far with rap. He plays up how his personality simply isn’t that of your stereotypical rapper, and the crimes that he was doing aren’t quite the same caliber as what other artists claim to have done. It makes him special in a way that not many are.

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“Everything Burrito”

My face on MTV Jams, I was sittin’ in the basement/ Beer and my pops next to me going crazy/ Play this shit, roll up and embrace it/ Let your eyes shut like Tracy McGrady

This talks about the other side of Michael Christmas’s life that I haven’t talked about in the other sets of lines. He is really doing well for himself. I like these lyrics because they remind you that while he’s here and doing well, Christmas is going to enjoy it and do it his way. He’ll shut his eyes like McGrady shooting free throws (or maybe it’s a reference to the way he always looks tired) and sit back to enjoy the show he’s putting on. It can be hard to remember that amongst all the awkwardness and unfortunate encounters that he has that he so openly describes, he’s really killing it with rap, even getting on MTV.

“Hate”

Overweight 6 god, practicing my singing/ I’m the chubby R Kelly on these tracks I be pissin’

This is pretty self-explanatory. The reference to his song “Overweight Drake” and R. Kelly’s insane allegation make for two great lines adding to the humorous habit of Christmas constantly comparing himself to others and acknowledging their differences in some way. He loves to essentially call himself the bootleg version of these artists who have grown so popular in the music world in recent years, giving the fans something to laugh about.

“Look Up/ Save the Day”

When I die, fuck the wake. I want a party bring the fakes/ And bring my fans, and bring Lil B and tell him to bring his Vans

The amazing request for a party when he dies that includes all the fake people who act like they are friends with him and a classic Based God reference make this one of my favorite Michael Christmas lines. Go listen to “Vans” by The Pack right now to understand the greatness. Here we see yet another eccentric side of the rapper’s personality, with his wild visions and love for one of the most out-there (and important) people in all of hip hop, Lil B. The subject matter of a Michael Christmas song is always guaranteed to entertain, often coming off as more truthful than anyone else is willing to be. He isn’t afraid of his critics and this confidence gives his songs the feeling that they really come from what he feels inside rather than what is considered popular to rap about.

“Overweight Drake”

Modern day Larry Johnson/ I wear them cons to the game/ Play the bench, sip Gatorade/ And break a sweat, but bitch I came/ Brian Scalabrine paid/ Shit, that mean I got a ring for sipping pink lemonade, bitch!

Christmas continues an ongoing theme he has had with basketball references and describing his skill level with hilarious comparisons. He talks about how he comes looking fresh like Larry Johnson, but he doesn’t necessarily have the game to back it up (which is yet another thing that most rappers would never admit). Then, he somehow turns that into a flex with the White Mamba reference and the line about getting the W without even having to play just like Scalabrine in ’08.

“Michael Cera”

I think I’m Michael Cera, I might be Jonah Hill/ I might be awkward still, I might be out to kill

I felt that I had to end this list with one of the most classic Michael Christmas choruses to date. The Michael Cera (and Jonah Hill in “Superbad”) comparison does indeed seem to get backed up with all the rapping about having trouble with girls and being the awkward guy, once again being relatable to fans and not being afraid to show his true self. The whole chorus of this song is amazing, but the first two lines of it just made the most sense to include.

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*All lyrics were checked with Rap Genius so any lyrics that may not be 100% accurate are just small mistakes. Sorry about that*

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